Kate & Dale
DETAILS
When — 1st April (yes April Fools day)
Where — Mt Maunganui
Service — Marriage Celebrant - Sharelle
A beautiful beach wedding and a recovering perfectionist
As I reflect on the night before our wedding, I recall furiously making sure everything was ‘perfect’ for my beloved’s and my big day… the bouquets, buttonholes corsages, setting tables, organising the world…I think it was about 2.30am by the time I went to bed. I was awake again at 5am with more to organise and get ready. I was overly harsh about everything, thinking that I should have done it better or different. When our photos first came back all I could see was how tired I looked (why do we pick ourselves to pieces like that??) and I felt a bit disappointed - not with my decision to get married ha-ha, the best decision of my life!
With the benefit of hindsight, I am so pleased we made the sacrifices and chose to do a lot of things ourselves. We were so proud of what we accomplished on a budget. We didn’t pay someone to do the flowers, pick the most expensive wedding venue, the most expensive caterer or even buy wedding rings, because, if we had, we would have had to cut down on the number of people who attended our wedding. In my speech that evening, I spoke about the whole day meaning nothing if it wasn’t for the people who were there, our friends, family, confidants, our partners in crime. If we hadn’t made the budget choices that we did, we would have had to be far more brutal with our ‘people list’.
When I look back at our photo’s I see immense love and the care and attention that we had given to things that really meant something to US! I also came to the realisation that I was a perfectionist and I needed to give it up because it was clouding my view of lots of things – the most important things.
Something our celebrant told us was to ‘not lose the meaning of the moment, the detail will be lost over time but the feeling of love and the commitment you make to each other when you say your vows will be what keeps you together and picks you up when times are tough’. It was one of the many bits of advice that Sharelle gave us, and we are both so grateful to have had someone who genuinely cared about us – not just about the day, although to be fair she delivered an amazing ceremony, but about us. She bought our family together in a way that I hadn’t expected, or even realised would happen during our time with her and we are so grateful for that.
So, I am now a recovering perfectionist. If I could provide some wisdom to other couples who are about to wander blissfully into planning their special day, it would be this, “Aspire to be a good enough-ist”. Your connection is worth so much more than perfection!
