Thoughts from Viv - Mother of the Groom

I was delighted that my son and his lovely fiancée had set a date, organised a venue and were moving along with planning their wedding in a way that felt right for them, after all it was their day and needed to be what they wanted.

My son asked if I would “like” to speak at the wedding, noting that he didn’t want to put me under any pressure if I didn’t feel I could do so. However, I did want to represent our side of the family, since his dad had passed away 15 years prior, so certainly wanted to honour both my son and his dad by speaking at this special occasion.

I was pleasantly surprised and so pleased when their celebrant Sharelle called me to introduce herself and take the time to get to know more about Iain and his parents. It was a lovely touch to help her personalise their day.

We talked about my speech and she assured me that she would be there on the day, as she was also the MC for their evening. She said that she would be my wingman if I stumbled when presenting which gave me the confidence to believe that I could produce and orate a speech at the wedding.

What I learnt in writing a speech for the day was to speak from the heart, it may bring tears and emotions but, as Sharelle pointed out to me, this is natural and totally okay for a mother of the groom to get sentimental and sob. It is a huge milestone in both our lives.

I wrote in steps –

1. Introduced myself

2. Talked about my son

3. Talked about his new wife

4. Say why this marriage made me happy

5. I tried to splatter a little humour

I did take heed of Sharelle’s guide sheet that she sent, in that I practiced - I practiced to myself in the mirror, I practiced with my friends, I practiced on my family, I practiced in my sleep!

As time went on, I changed bits of the speech, so my advice is to leave it until closer to the day before making it final.

Fortunately, Sharelle was very understanding of my many rewrites, so much so that we exchanged many messages to point where I felt we had become firm friends before we had even met.

During the weeks/days leading up to the wedding I felt nervous about the speech. On the morning of the wedding, I had butterflies in my stomach.

The wedding itself was such a happy occasion, the ceremony had been performed, the vows declared, the guests were happy, and then it was speech time. I was slightly anxious with anticipation, but when it was my turn I stepped up with confidence knowing that I had written something heart felt about a son I was very proud of. I am proud of the man he has become and the choices he has made. I was thrilled to feel included and an important part of this hugely significant day, after all I am his mum, now and always.